Brenda

I had a very cold and bitter childhood. My momwas a single mother of 5. We were very poor and my mother was very promiscuous.She would have men coming in and out of our home. A lot of times she didn't knowwho they were. She would get in a very depressed state and would take it out onus by physically and mentally abusing us. She would leave us weekends at a timeto be with different men leaving us with no food in the house. My older brothershad to go out in the neighborhood and ask for odd jobs. My oldest brothercleaned houses and my second brother mowed lawns or shoveled snow to earn a fewbucks to buy milk, bread and eggs for us 3 younger ones while my mom was outpartying with her men. Needless to say I began resenting my mom and as I gotolder our relationship got further apart. By the time I was in high school mymom had a steady boyfriend who was physically abusive towards her. I had to callthe police several times but each time she would drop the charges and would lethim back in the house. 

My older brothers were moved out and it was just me andlittle brother and sister left at home so now I was the oldest sibling to haveto take care of things. Throughout all of this my major escape was throughmusic. I was always in my room singing along to latest popular songs. My dreamwas to get out and become a singer myself but my mother always was adiscouragement. She always told me that singing was a waste of time and that Iwould never make it as one. (She was such a loving and supportive mother wasn'tshe?)

Well, by my junior year in high school I met someone whom I fell madly in lovewith and ended up losing my virginity to. (I'll call him Will) UnfortunatelyWill was the bad boy type and wound up in jail the day after our intimate momentfor attempting to rob a convenience store. He ended up in prison for a year. Iended up waiting for him to come out. My mom disapproved of him and ourrelationship. But she was the last person I wanted to listen to aboutrelationships. When he got out we stayed together and planned on being togetherforever.

It was time for me to go off to college and I decided to get far away from homeas possible. I told Will that he didn't have to wait for me because I knew thatlong distance relationships never last, as much as it hurt me to leave him. Buthe refused and said he would be supportive of me and be there for me. We kept intouch the first 2 months but then he suddenly disappeared with no word until afriend of mine told me that he was seeing someone else. 

I was hurt and furiousat the same time. So what do I do? I began dating this Frat guy who had beenwanting to get with me the whole semester.( I'll call him Ron). Basically I wason the rebound but Ron turned out to be a really caring guy. We got along reallywell but the thoughts of Will still kept lingering in the corner of my mind. Iwent home for Christmas break and guess who paid me a little visit? You guessedit, Will!.....To make this part of the story short Will apologized but ended uphurting me again the same way.   I ended pregnant by Ron and found out thatWill had 2 daughters by 2 different girls. I was devastated!

 Needless to say Inever finished college, Ron ended being a loser dead beat father and Will and Igot back together. We ended up living together for about a year and within thatyear he was a totally different person. He became abusive mentally andphysically. I swore I would never let a man hurt me this way because of what Isaw my mother go through but here I was accepting all this abuse for the sake ofblind love. 

I then found out that I'm pregnant by Will. My son by Ron was a yearold at this point. I decided I wanted out of the relationship but Will becamefurious and held me prisoner there. He said I wasn't going anywhere with hisbaby in my belly. I finally got the courage to just leave and moved in with myaunt and Will did every thing he could to get me back. I had the baby and seeinghim with her just melted my heart and my weakness allowed me to give it one moretry. 

Well, like the other times it didn't work out and Will became furious thatI finally began showing him that I didn't need him anymore. So what did he do?He beat me and kidnapped my daughter. I called the police and pressed chargesfor domestic violence and kidnapping. But the police told me since he's thebiological father he had rights to her. From that point that was the last time Isaw my daughter. 

I took every measure I had to as far as establishing custodyand making the kidnapping charges stick. There was a detective on the case who Imade sure was working hard to get my daughter back. (I'll call him him DetectiveFirestone). Detective Firestone and I kept in touch almost everyday because Iwanted to make sure he didn't treat this case as any ordinary case. He was veryunderstanding and very supportive. I was determined to get my daughter back. Icried every night wondering how she was doing, whether or not she was eatingproperly and if Will was taking good care of her. Now mind you I was not aChristian at this time, obviously, but I would cry out for God to help me.Detective Firestone had gotten approval to have a nationwide warrant out forWill's arrest. So where ever he went within the U.S. he was wanted. I had made acall to America's Most Wanted and they were willing to accept my case. They cameout and interviewed me and my son. They were very nice and sympathetic.

Although I was showing on the outside that I was being strong about all of thisI was totally breaking down inside. The thoughts of not ever seeing my daughterconsumed me and I felt so helpless. But like I said, I had to stay strongbecause I still had my son to take care of. One night I was crying in bed and atthis point I was tired of crying myself to sleep, so I decided to watch tv. Assoon as I turned the tv on there was Billy Graham. I quickly changed the channelto see what else was on. There was nothing appealing but something told me toturn back to Billy Graham. 

His message was about trials and tribulations. As Ilistened to his message I felt that he was talking directly to me. At the end hehad mentioned that there was only one way out and that was through Jesus Christ.He also said that if we give all our burdens to the Lord he would take care ofit for as long as we have faith and live for Him. In closing he asked if therewas anyone who wanted to open their hearts up for Jesus and allow Him to takecare of them to just simply repeat the sinners prayer. 

Well, I felt this may bewhat I needed. So, I repeated the sinners prayer with every feeling in my bodyand my arms lifted up in the air. Afterwards, I instantly felt a feeling ofrelief. I felt all burdens lifted off of me and I began to cry hysterically. Itwasn't a cry of depression this time. It was a cry of joy because I knew in myheart that I was going to be ok! 

The next day I felt like a whole new person andsaw everything in a positive light. 

The next week on Thursday I was waiting forSaturday to arrive because that was the day America's Most Wanted was going toshow my segment on the show. I was so excited. I was thinking, "Boy, isWill in for a great surprise!" But no one was more surprised than I waswhen I received a phone call that Thursday night from the California policedept. calling me to tell me that they have recovered my daughter. Talk about astate of Shock! I began to cry "Thank you Lord! Thank you sooo much!".I called Detective Firestone to share my joy. I called the interviewer fromAmerica's Most Wanted. They were all so happy for me.

I flew to California that night to get my daughter. It had been 10 months sinceI've seen her. She was big and beautiful! 

The great thing was that I got herjust in time to celebrate her 2nd b-day. I threw her a big party and invited allmy family and friends even Detective Firestone who I ended up marrying a yearlater. He's such an awesome man and a great father to my kids. Will is serving 6yrs. in the Pen. My husband and I have found a dynamic non-denomination churchthat we are very involved with. I am one of the soloist in the choir. 

Rememberwhen I said that singing was my dream? Well, I found my purpose in life andthat's serving God through the music ministry. Many doors of opportunities areopening up for me as far as many Christian organizations requesting that I singfor them at certain Christian events. I'm also on the verge of cutting aChristian CD. If it's His will, it will be done. I am truly blessed! My life hasbeen going up-hill from the moment I accepted Christ into my life. Of courseSatan is there to try and throw monkey wrenches into my life, but having loveand strength in the Lord there's nothing I can't overcome. I now know my purposehere on earth and I'm running with it. I live for Him and He brings manyBlessings.

I'm sorry that this was so long, but I was told to never be ashamed of mytestimony because there's always someone out there who just might be goingthrough the same thing and need encouragement.

If you read this whole thing, thank you for allowing me to write this.

Have a Jesus filled day!!! May the Lord shower you with many blessings!

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